I want this blog to be the place where I say all the things I don't speak.
First of all.
I was so full of hope yesterday, the thought of you charmed a light from my eyes that I knew was there, that i saw wrought in the reactions of a thousand men and women. Heart of my heart. Amorta. Ishta. Light of my living days.
Where are you today?
If you would but speak to me, my heart would bloom a thousand million roses. My eyes would spangle-shine brighter than the star-clad sky. My spirit-self would swell, and swell and swell, I could love and encompass every blade of grass, each humble ant, each marred, mortal man. But your silence renders me hollow like the lightless echo of a cave.
What is it that leaves me breathless, panting, unable to wait? What esoteric secret, alchemical recipe that makes every moment i have of you, something that leaves me wanting, unsated, for more...Is it your intangible presence? Is it your way with words? Is it your bold thoughts, the manner in which they soar... Far. High. Wide.
I wonder, i wonder... is there ought that could happen? that i could engineer and manipulate to make your heart beat for mine like mine does for yours? I ponder and ponder, a rushing torrent of a thousand twisted, tearing thoughts...
beating like a drum against a barrier.
what use wanting what the other wish not to give?
In that attainment, lies the destruction of that which you hoped to acquire...
Foolish thoughts and more foolish words. The pressing urgency has abated. Desire fleets, the fickle witch. I want. I want. I want no more.
